The opening ceremonies for the 2016 Summer Olympics in Rio De Janeiro, Brazil are starting right now as I type this out, and I am super excited. The Summer Olympics are just the shit. So many great events to watch with so many known names to see. Michael Phelps, Usain Bolt, Ricky Fowler, Kevin Durant, The USA women’s soccer team, the entire USA women’s gymnastic team. I’m ready to zone in and get real patriotic.

Michael Phelps is just a straight up bad ass. The man gets caught drunk driving, smoking weed, and he’s like “big deal I have more gold medals than anyone who has ever competed in the Olympics and they been around for like, oh I don’t know, forever”. So this year, not only is he competing, after everyone thought last time was his last go around, he is going to be the flag holder and lead America into the opening ceremony. The boss of the Olympics just flossin’ on the rest of the world….’MERICA.

Of course Usain Bolt is always awesome to watch. Something about being the fastest man in the world is just so cool. I am a huge fan of comic books and the Flash is awesome. Bolt is basically the Flash. Being able to say “I am the fastest man alive” would be the closest thing to a super power that a person can get, and who wouldn’t want that?

The men’s basketball team is fun to watch, but they are not that intriguing since it is a guarantee they will win gold. The girls gymnastic team is the best. Gabby Douglas is a superstar, and every year another girl emerges and kills it and sends some poor Russian girl home crying. There are so many events that I love and watch. I could go on and on, but the ceremony is starting now so I’m ending this post now. Go watch the Olympics! Go America!

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